Thursday, April 17, 2008

How To Avoid Giving Offense Or Being Misunderstood

There's probably nothing more humiliating than to make a remark in public and have someone take offense at the comment. Some remarks about individuals and groups can even be the occasion for a lawsuit against you or your company.
In modern business language, the spoken and written word has become a battleground. Terms once regarded as benign have turned into "fighting words." Women, various ethnic groups, older parties, and other parties (such as homosexuals, or "gays") have become much more sensitive to language they believe may denigrate them. Using them "wrong" words can injure your reputation, and even destroy your career. Thus, it's up to you, as a speaker, to choose your words carefully.
There are certain general principles you can follow that will minimize the chance you will unintentionally offend a member of the most sensitive groups. But let's be candid: almost any usage will offend or at least irritate someone. In this area, "zero defects" probably is an unattainable goal.
Here are five principles you can use that will help you avoid saying something offensive:

1. Identify people the way they want to be called. If some people of African heritage want to be called "African-Americans," then do so. If other individuals want to be called "Blacks," do so. The same principle applies with "gays' (rather than "homosexuals") and "Latinos" (rather than "Hispanics").
The caution here is that some people don't like the proliferation of "hyphenated Americans" (Italian-Americans, Greek-Americans, and so on). Some people feel that the hyphenation turns people into partial Americans. These people are in the minority, but there are not alone.

2. Whenever possible, don't generalize about groups; talk instead in terms of individuals. In other words, don't say, "Women are submissive"; and don't say "Men are aggressive." Individual women may be submissive, as individual man may be aggressive. Generalizations about groups are always wrong, if not totally, at least partially.This limitation is that this approach is easy in theory, hard in practice. How, for example, is a company's "affirmative action" officer to avoid generalizing about groups? Also, in time of heightened racial, gender, and ethnic awareness, is it realistic to expect people to stop generalizing about such matters?


3. Don't use words that imply certain jobs or roles are filled only by a certain sex or gender. In other words, don't talk about "policemen," but rather about "police officers"; don't refer to the mailmen," but to "mail carriers." And don't refer to our "forefathers," but instead tour "ancestors."
The question here is not a matter of principle, but of practice. Specifically, will the day be carried on this point by the adoption of the gender-neutral word "person"? That is, will words like "policeperson," "chairperson," "mailperson." and waitperson" become standard usage? It appears the term "person" is a ubiquitous in our society as the designation "Comrade" was in Chairman Mao's China.


4. Avoid the "he/she" pronoun problem by making singular nouns into plurals. For example, suppose you say, "The engineer is a problem solver; he does not know the meaning of the word "impossible."' If you say that, some people might be offended by the male referent "he." A simple way to overcome that problem is add an "s" to "engineer." That makes the sentences read: "Engineers are problem-solvers, they don't know the meaning of the word "impossible."'
This approach seems to solve the problem with wordiness inherent in always having to say "he and she." Some notable experts on language usage may object to the principle; their point is that historically, "he" as a pronoun reference could refer either to males or females. These individuals seem to be fighting a losing battle.


5. Refer to people with disabilities as that, "people with disabilities." In the eyes of many people, calling such individuals "handicapped" or "disabled" is to confuse the individual with the disability.
A caution about using the term "physically challenged." To some people, this well-intentioned term implies that diseases such as multiple sclerosis or "Lou Gehrig's Disease" are "challenges." The further implication would be that people who don't overcome their "challenge" have somehow failed is a ridiculous notion.
In the politically correct and sensitive society that we are now living in it is almost impossible to give a speech without someone taking offense to something you say, but by following these five principles you can greatly reduce your chances of giving offense or being misunderstood.

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